Is it normal for me to be so aggressive? Is it normal for my attention to be so divided? Is it normal for me to be triggered so big in such a great love? Why am I so unbalanced?
In the face of intense experiences that we cannot comprehend, our desire to take refuge in normal and return to the old can be very strong, yes, but we cannot take it back. Because we gave birth. We have to follow this tunnel to the other side.
In general belief where I live, they say that the tomb of the postpartum remains open forty days. Before I read the myth that I’m going to talk about in a moment, this belief would have been quite scary to me. But now I understand very well what you’re talking about.
In Sumerian mythology, there is an ancient Mesopotamia goddess identified with light and love, Inanna. It is associated with the planet Venus. It also tells you about the abundance. Inanna wants to visit her sister Ereshkigal, who rules the world of the dead, and tells her vizier to call for help if she does not hear from her for three days. In Ereshkigal’s country, he embarks on a journey under the guidance of Neti, the country’s gatekeeper. She is also stripped of his jewels and power at every door. She gives up her first crown, her mental superiority/authority/arrogance. Then her earrings, the value she gives to outside voices and praise. Next up are her necklaces, layers of identity that she sees as valuable. When the fourth door arrives, she undresses from the chest armor that protects her heart. From her bracelets at the next door, from her habits that clamped her. She takes off her dress at the door before the end, so she undresses her social roles, her outer shells. She arrives at the last gate with only a queen’s wand. She then leaves this door to the door.
The underground judges and Ereshkigal judge Inanna and kill her. Inanna then returns to life with the help of Enki, the god of wisdom, sacrificing her husband Dumuzi, who was not affected by her death.
These underground landings are called catabasis. And I think matresance is also a catabasis. She died before she died, and she returned from death. Every woman who lives in postpartum kills the maiden inside and returns to life as a mother. The grave of a new mother is open for maiden in forty days.
With those intense hormone drops, the journey to childbirth, and the first time I had such intense surrender to someone, many of my old identities and masks fell off me. She was robbed of me. The woman under them was no longer able to carry them. I went through an intense process of simplification, where I could live my whole life with postpartum until I got into the resurrection. It was a period that I had never been in my own life as an individual. Now I see the benefit of this as I start to take my place in my own life again. Because I was a careless person who learned about life and tried to discover and prove himself, who learned about life with his mistakes, and therefore tried many identities and masks. And I didn’t even realize I was wearing these. Now I have the freedom to consciously examine and not wear every piece I undress.
How do I do this? I ask myself if this is something I would like my daughter to follow.
Inanna/Venus signifies the sacral chakra, the second chakra in energy astrology. The sacral chakra is our womb. After birth, our womb bleeds for up to forty days to return to its former state. She then goes on to get dressed, and then she gets back to his own.
Before modern psychology gave us the matresance, motherhood was a radical, dark and fascinating transformation. At each threshold of postpartum you leave something that is no longer you. The seven items that Inanna undressed reminded me of the seven chakras, and I set up a map on my journey to make sense of what I was going through and discover the mother inside me.
Inanna’s crown coincides with the hill chakra, the hill chakra describes our relationship with divine power. I have here been free from my mind and experienced surrender.
Inanna’s earrings overlap with our forehead chakra, how we see the world and how the world sees us. Since I started seeing life through my daughter’s eyes, I question most of my judgments.
I linked Inanna’s necklaces to the throat chakra. Which woman in me was more vocal. What identity had been my voice? Now I would like a baby who listens carefully to every word that comes out of my mouth, who is closing like a sponge, to hear what sound I would like her to hear when I am with her 24/7. How would I like her to be a woman who speaks her own truth when she grows up?
Inanna’s chest armor is associated with the heart chakra. I undressed my armor because now my heart carries it out of my armor. I love the part of me that I have died in any case and I miss them too. It’s like moving from a house that I love so much that I’ve lived for years to a house that I’ve been dreaming of for years.
Inanna’s bracelets are associated with our solar plexus chakra. The shadow of the solar plexus chakra is the prison of the ego. In the most s3lfl3ss period of your life, of course, the ego also transforms.
Inanna’s dress describes the sacral chakra, or the womb. What a poetic symbol that the place where I am naked in postpartum coincides with our womb. I am most fragile to my own creation, naked free from all my armor.
Inanna’s scepter is the root chakra. This place tells us about our most primitive being, our life energy. Insomnia and dedicating all our energy to healing and the baby is experiencing the rawest, primitive aspect of our nervous system. Trying to survive and keep it alive.
Bounce back, that is, within this culture that immediately glorifies the return to its old body, its work, its power, its undressing is a force that society cannot make sense of, but that collectivistic consciousness recognizes. So this power/process may induce fear, may not be supported as it should be.
Doesn’t the postpartum process sound like a sacred shadow work that the universe bestows on women? Of course, it is possible to emerge stronger from this shadow by confronting Ereshkigal with courage and feeding on compassionate allies. This is also directly against that individualism that modern society has preached.
My journey to awaken my mother in me, my postpartum initiation, my ability to look at both the sky and the earth, continues. I’m a village that’s holding me next to me, and my wife, baby in my lap.
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